You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
