Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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