Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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