when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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