What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
