I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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