i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
