I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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