Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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