About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
