I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
