there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
