I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
