Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
