Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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