He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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