somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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