I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
