i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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