My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
