Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
