I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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