Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
