if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
