And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
