somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Found your dick twin last night
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
