i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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