Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
