I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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