do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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