I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
