she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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