I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize