She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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