I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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