i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
