Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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