Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
time to smoke my breakfast
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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