i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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