Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
