I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
