i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Randomize