Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
