Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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