Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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