even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
