i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
