If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
