btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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