I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
