Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
And the cops told us we were all naked.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
