I am puke
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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