We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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