She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
