I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
