Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
