called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
