do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
