Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
