Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
