I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
