You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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