Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
