I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
